Arrogance and Atheism in Christian service

John 3:30 records the zenith of the Baptist's theology: "He must increase but I must decrease." This sentiment has become a mantle of many ministries. That is, guys like me pack their blackberries with emails, engagements, and writing assignments 'for the glory of Christ'. Yet I cannot help but wonder at others and feel compelled to confess for my own culpability in using this 'mantel' as a cloaked ruse for self-promotion. As I sit here alone in my study at nine p.m. nursing a head-ache from another overstuffed day, it occurs to me that Jesus did not intend for me to live like this. My commitments are not all for the glory of God; my own career advancement also looms on the horizon, as does my ever lurking pride and future social security. Allow me, please, to share a truth, from hypocritical lips: If you have more to get done in your day than can be reasonably accomplished without frustration, pressure, impatience or negligence of prayer, a word of peace, a slowly sipped cup of tea, and a linger kiss, I question whether your agenda was completely constructed by your creator. If I really believed Jesus in Matthew 6, that my reward would be in secret from a doting father, I doubt I would work so hard to appropriate such recognition from so many illegitimate venues. Forgive me for setting such a poor example of a life of balance under the glorious liberation of seeking only the glorification of Christ.