Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I've been flamed!

After a recent speaking engagement I received a flaming email. It is not terribly uncommon for me to receive criticism from time to time, but it is mostly good natured. This was a torch. It used phrases like "intellectual recklessness," "ungraceful and unjustified,""overgeneralization to suit your agenda," and "demagoguery."I would go one but it is a bit embarrasing. I was deeply disturbed by this email, not because I was flamed (that is to be expected when one is in the public eye and speaks with passion and deliberate desire to shake loose some cob-webs of complacency). Nor was I disturbed because my detractor happened to be right on at least one issue (I'm vigorously fighting the urge to tell you that the particular issue was a minor point in the presentation . . . that would be self-seeking in such a way that would demonstrate a clear struggle to appropriate John 3:30). What bothered me was (a) my first response to the email and (b) my second response to the email. My first response was to scour through his letter looking for ways of proving him wrong and writing back a flaming email in respose. I'll show him who he's messing with! My second response was to use him as an illustration in class (as a straw-man, of course) for those who ungraciously create straw-men in pseudo-intellectual battle. That would sequester the appropriate sympathy, not to mention some degree of derisive laughter that would prove I'm right and he's wrong. But neither seemed spiritually or ecclesiastically profitable. I wish I could tell you that it was water off a duck's back and I quickly moved on to more productive matters. The truth is I laid awake last night trying to put it out of my mind but unwillingling formulating appropriate responses. I could no more get it out of my mind than a pink elephant when someone forbids you to picture a pink elephant. Why was I so fixated on this? Why did it rob my sleep and welcome me before the dawn? Well it's obvious isn't it? Someone called me wrong and in a way that I preceived as unkind. But if my Father's love was unfailing, why did I need so badly to justify myself in my own mind? Why did I want to prove him wrong? Why was it so difficult to admit that I made a mistake or misspoke? Why? Because I have not yet fully assimilated John 3:30. It is still important for me to promote myself and the frailty of my faith in God's approval can tolerate precious little detraction! God help me. P.S. I have no plans of replying to the email though I have read it again and asked the Holy Spirit to speak truth to me through it. I will now file it away and speak of it no more.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post really hit home with me. There are so many times when I wish I could just get over myself and be more like Jesus. I'm selfish and I enjoy sin, but I guess that's why it's a struggle. It's good to know that a teacher at Ozark is willing to admit what he wrestle's with.

March 29, 2006 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger Jay Greer said...

It is indeed tempting to forget our true audience and final judge when attacked. I too have the urge to settle the score when all along God knows the reality of the situation. I too need help to rest in the fact that God knows the truth and that is all that matters.

March 31, 2006 at 12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once had someone tell me that you should apologize sometimes...even when you may be right. Maybe this was not one of those times?
Sometimes i think that you could argue for all eternity and yet no one would be completely right...so quiting while your ahead would be helpful and wise. You inspire many and leave a good example for people to follow, in that you admit your faults.

April 3, 2006 at 2:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suppose the most interesting part about not getting trapped in the sin of self-promotion is realizing who we are...

like when someone gets angry at us, realizing that we ourselves are seeking to overcome just those tendencies.

when someone challenges our vast learning and wisdom on Spiritual issues, realizing that...well, we ourselves don't really know what we're talking about (I think it'd be fitting that if when Jesus comes back...we're all wrong).

when we look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning before we go to preach a sermon, realizing that we only find ourselves in that position because the God of the Universe decided to love us and offer us something we could never attain on our own...

April 6, 2006 at 11:33 PM  
Blogger Mark Moore said...

Jon, I know you too have dealt with this. What has been interesting is that since this blog the brother emailed me and we have had a dialogue that is increasingly pleasant. Both he and I have responded in gracious ways. And that graciousness has allowed us to speak our differences in love and in the process to realize that we are not as far apart as we first thought. Love has a way of minimizing differences that pride has a way of maximizing.

April 14, 2006 at 1:06 PM  
Blogger Thom Stark said...

...

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

...

April 15, 2006 at 12:18 AM  

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